


I love you love me and porn can help us figure it out

by perpendicularcircles



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: M/M, This is DUMB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:56:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpendicularcircles/pseuds/perpendicularcircles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve discovers the wonders of Fanfiction. Bucky finds out. That's it that's the fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love you love me and porn can help us figure it out

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

“Have you ever googled yourself, Cap?” Tony asks innocuously once.

“Google? No I've never googled myself. Why?” Steve glances suspiciously at Tony, who drains his drink and stands up.

“Maybe you should try it sometime. Night Rogers.” His tone is light enough but his stance reeks of mischief, and Steve doesn't like that one bit.

 

 

*

 

 

Steve's curiosity got to him. Sitting down to the only computer in his apartment(which is really only there because Stark insists and Bucky sometimes uses it to write reports), he warily turns it on and opens a new window-he knows the basics, he's not as much of a luddite as Tony thinks. Going to google, he types in 'Captain America' and with a mixture of apprehension and nagging interest, hits search.

228,000,000 results says the first thing Steve sees. It punches the air out of him in a sharp exhale, makes him feel a little overwhelmed. He knows the legend he's accidentally become but he's never had to face the proof of it so harshly. It's a bit much.

He quickly backspaces and types in 'Steve Rogers.' Not much better, but at least he's lost a zero. Then he gets an idea. 'Bucky Barnes' has far less radical numbers, and 'James Buchanan Barnes' even fewer. He thinks Buck would be ecstatic.

'Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers' brought up weird results. He clicked a few links, blushed bright red and backspaced furiously when he saw a picture of him and bucky in a ….less than innocent position.

“The hell.” His eyes are wide and his thoughts are going a million miles an hour. What is this, why would someone...draw him and bucky...like that. Of course he's aware that the public view of the expression of different sexualities it's a lot more common-and a lot frowned upon-but for people to write about him...

Steve needs to address how the boner in his pants is far outweighing his conscience's need to be disgusted at some stranger's invasion of his and Bucky's privacy. Actually Steves just needs to address the boner in his pants period. He doesn't.

For the sake of research, and to hopefully quell his still reeling head, Steve clicks on the next link, which appears to be a story of some kind. Reading it makes him no less confused, its about him and Buck, and there....oh. Oh wow. Steve blinks and shakes his head, but.

Steve's dick is straining in his jeans as his face flushes with a mixture of arousal, embarrassment and shame. He hesitantly palms himself, eyes glued to the words on the screen, and bites his lip at the feeling.

Bucky's sucking him off-or at least that's what's happening in the thing he's reading, and who the hell writes this shit anyway- and he's good at it. Really good. Or at least the author is really good at describing it. Fumbling with his belt, Steve eventually manages to slide his hand into his boxers and get a good grip-and he moans when he does. The moan takes him by surprise and he bits his lip to try and get control of himself.

Reading this...thing and jerking off is leaving him strung higher than he's been in a while. Part of it was guilt and shame, part of it was the fact that Bucky could just walk in, but mostly because his imagination had never been this descriptive, and that was saying something. Steve's been in love with James Barnes for more than 80 years. That's a lot of time creating fantasies.

He comes quickly, stifling a gasp. His heart's beating rapidly, feeling like it's gonna fall out, and he pulls his sticky hand out of just as messy boxers, grimacing.

“Shit.”

 

*

 

 

Steve learns quickly(in a state of fairly continual embarrassment) about the concept of fanfiction. He figures out what it is, where it is, how to search for it, and why it is-which still makes him kind of uneasy, because didn't these people have anything better to do than write about his nonexistent sex life? That being said, he still wasn't put off enough to stop collecting material and perusing it. Thoroughly.

Honestly it was a little ridiculous how thoroughly he's been using it. He didn't even jerk off this much when he was a teenager. Although finding lots of graphic porn of something you've been fantasizing about for ages was probably a good kick start to his libido as any.

Steve chokes out a moan...as he comes for the third time that day. Hell, he feels like a pervert. He needs to stop this craziness, if only for to assuage the guilt he was feeling on Buck's behalf. And he will....as soon as he gets off again.

 

 

*

 

 

Steve grimaces and clicks out of the tab quickly, but not quick enough to avoid that horrible word. His dick wilts as he questions why anyone in the world would refer to an erection as turgid, and sighs miserably as he realizes he's not going to be able to get it back up.

 

 

*

 

 

Needless to say it doesn't stop, but Captain America can't stay locked in his apartment forever-although apartment might be a misnomer, what with the size of his and Bucky's living quarters in StarK Towers. The incidents started happening less and less, until Steve only found time on the weekends to unwind. Which is why Steve is really glad it's a Saturday, he thinks, as he unzips his jeans.

 

*

 

 

Tony is in the middle of his monthly surveillance briefing-which Pepper calls 'snooping' and 'an invasion of privacy'- when he comes across something interesting. Namely Steve's internet history. Namely the fact that he has one-and oh what a history it is.

After skimming several of the most frequently visited articles-

“Who knew our oh so wholesome Captain America was so kinky?”

-and laughing his ass off, Tony decides it's time to pay a visit to the oblivious Captain Rogers. There was no way to miss the pining glances Sergeant Barnes shot Steve when he thought the Cap wasn't looking. They weren't exactly subtle. Well, maybe they were, but not to Pep-him. Not to him.

So, it was time to confront a couple of his friends who need to be a couple-have needed to be a couple for a very long time.

 

 

*

 

 

But before that particular conversation could take place, a certain Bucky Barnes is staring open mouthed at the screen of his and Steve's overly massive computer.

His first thought is that it's a joke, that Stark did something to the computer. But that was unlikely and in any case if Stark was gonna fuck with him it wouldn't be like that-it would be flashier, grander, not...this. Whatever this is. Implanting porn in their computer.

Besides, no one knew how he felt about Steve. About how, when he was lost in blackness, his mind a slate wiped clean over and over-the only thing there was a small, righteous boy from Brooklyn, whom he had loved. A boy who grew to be a passionate, true-hearted devil of a man, who he loves. About how even now his heart races when Steve walks around in his boxers absentmindedly, or when he smiles, like-

No one knew about that. So how did porn of the two of them-and he'd question _it's_ existence later- end up on their computer. And, apparently, was pulled up often.

As if wanting to be on time for one of the most awkward conversations he's ever had, Steve chooses that moment to walk through the door.

“Hey.” He dropped his bag and headed for the couch, flashing a quick smile Bucky's way.

When Bucky didn't answer, Steve turns to look at him, and when he sees Bucky sitting frozen in front of the computer with an all too familiar website with a red header on the screen, it feels like someone dumped ice in his bloodstream. Shit.

Steve can't help but hoping Buck won't be too angry, but he knows that Bucky has every right to. Steve's been well aware of how kind of fucked up this was from the beginning. It's an invasion of Bucky's privacy.

“Um, I can explain,” Steve says quickly, and then, after a small pause, quieter. “Actually, uh, no, I really can't. I'll, um go?” His voice cracks a bit and its only noticeable in the silence dominating the room. Steve stands up, ears red and head bowed contritely, as he heads for the door.

“What are you doing? You don't need to go.” No, we need to figure this out, Bucky thinks, because it could be the best thing that's ever happened. But Bucky isn't very prone to optimism, so for now he just sticks with trying to get Steve to stay and confront him.

Steve turns around but he doesn't look up.

“Do you want an apology? Because you deserve that, and more and, God-”Steve chokes a bit, “God Buck I'm so sorry, but I just, I can't keep-I love you. I love you okay?” The words are rushed, hurried, and Steve winces as soon as they leave his mouth because he did not mean to say that.

He needed to leave, and collect himself, or move or-something. He flees to the door, but is blocked by Bucky's arm. He hadn't even seen Bucky move-although he also hadn't looked up, unable to meet his friends eyes. His heart's racing and his head is in turmoil, thoughts and emotions all over the place, things like panic, and fear, and 'is he gonna punch me because he should and shame and 'oh god I might lose my best friend,' all rushing to the surface before being dragged down by something else.

“Steve look at me,” Bucky's voice s softer than Steve anticipated.

“I'm sorry,” Steve whispers, and, eyebrows drawn, he slowly lifts his gaze to meet Bucky's, his arms rising in a manner that resembles a gesture of surrender, dreading and deserving the punch that was to come, chest tight.

Right as their eyes lock, Bucky decides on a course of action, and rather than trying to futilely explain how long, exactly, he's loved Steve, and what Steve means to him, Bucky leans forward and kisses him hard, heart hammering, trying to say everything that words can't.

Steve almost jumps out of his skin and tries to process whats happening. Bucky is kissing him. James Buchanan Barnes is kissing him, and God he'd never thought better words. If he wasn't already blushing from the tips of ears to his toes he would be.

Rather than think, Steve kisses back, because who knows when, if ever, he'll do this again. He hopes this isn't some kind of trick, or pity, or- wow he did not know that Bucky could do that with his tongue, and was that a moan, fuck well that was hot.

They break apart, both of them breathing unevenly.

“Well,” Says Bucky.

“What was that?” Steve asks, a bit stupidly. His lips are red and he's staring open mouthed at Bucky, who appears only slightly disheveled, in contrast to how he must be looking.

“A kiss, idiot,” Bucky rolls his eyes, then he grabs Steve by the front of his shirt and pulls him closer again. Grinning, he asks, “Want me to show you again?”

“Ye-no. No. Shouldn't we talk?” The answer he wants to give leaps out first, but he shuts it down immediately.

“Talkin' is for people who haven't waited for almost a century,” Bucky whispered, something soft in his eyes again, and when he moves to initiate another kiss Steve met him, deciding not to look too closely at a miracle.

They're interrupted by a loud banging on the door.

“Cap, you home!” Tony Stark shouts, before barging in without waiting for an answer, and toppling over as he runs into the two inert men still standing right near the door. He brushes himself off as if nothing happened then finally looks at the two, standing closer together than is normal, lips red, and giving him hostile glances. Well Bucky is giving him a hostile stare, Steve just looks mildly annoyed.

“Huh, looks like you figured it out, but in case you haven't-” He turns to look directly at Bucky, “-The cap is hot for you and jerks off to dirty stories about the two of you written by bored lonely teenagers. And you,” He turns to Steve. “The Winter Soldier here's been pining after you since before the cold war, at least.”

Silence reigns in the room after Tony's statement. Then Tony coughs and heads for the door.

“Well I'm sure you two have a lot of sex to get up to. Adios!” And then he leaves. And they're alone.

Bucky and Steve turn to look at each other, and then burst out laughing, at Tony, at themselves, at this whole ridiculous fucking situation and of how much they've missed out on each other, and, most importantly, why aren't they kissing now?

“C'mon,” Steve, grinning, grabs Bucky by the hips and, without breaking eye contact, leads him into the bedroom.

 

 

*

 

 

Tony laughed all the way back to the lab.

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

also an unrelated pic of chris evans happy holidays

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe i wrote this I'm not a writer this idea wouldn't go away.
> 
> Im even considering a sequel
> 
> hell
> 
> also my spacing is ridiculous and i refuse to apologizw


End file.
